I have not updated this blog in awhile, partly because I had a dry spell when I felt that I had little to say, and partly because my life has been crazy lately and I always feel that I am wasting time when I work on something like this rather than do homework.

In fact, right now I should be finishing up a rough draft of a paper for one of my English classes.

Oh well.

What I had on my mind for this return to blogging is a bit random in some ways, but in others it makes perfect sense that I am thinking about it.  The topic of this blog is money.

I suppose this has been on my mind a lot lately because about two weeks ago I got my first real, grown-up job.  I have been studying to be a high school English teacher, and a school district agreed to sign me on for the upcoming school year.  I am immensely excited.  I mean, it's a big deal making your way in the world and going off on your own in the vast unknown, away from the safety net of college and dependence on parents.

I am thrilled, too, because I know that this is exactly where God wants me to be right now.  The school district I am going to teach in was certainly not my first choice.  It wasn't my second choice either.  Heck, it wasn't even my fifth choice.  I'm not sure how far down on the list it was, but I will admit that what made me apply to it at all was that I noticed they were sending a representative to A&M's job fair and I remembered the district from when we used to travel there for band competitions.  A band competition seems like a silly reason to apply to a school district, but it was the reason I applied here.  And the complete randomness of that whim is one reason that I know God was behind it all.

So I had applied to this district among many others.  I had not heard back from any of them about my applications when suddenly about three days after I completed my application with this district, a representative called me.  Apparently they had looked at my application and liked me and wanted to speak to me at A&M's job fair.  I was extremely encouraged simply at the prospect of being noticed by anyone so early, so it didn't matter much to me that this was not my first choice of school.

So I went to the job fair, not really expecting much.  I had been to a job fair in my home town prior to the one at college, and it was largely disappointing.  The representatives did not seem very interested in talking to me; they were really only interested in resume collecting, which in my opinion is pointless considering they already have my entire application on file.  The college job fair was no different.  I visited two booths and talked to two rather disinterested representatives.  I have a feeling that it is still early for them to be doing serious hiring.

Then I visited the booth of my future employer.  They greeted me as if they knew me and began to arrange for me to speak with the main representative, all the while saying that they had just been talking about me in the car on the way to the job fair.  Needless to say, it was a drastically different experience from what had gone on with other school districts, but I didn't know yet quite how different it would be.

I was led behind the little table they had set up to sit and talk to the representative and he proceeded to sing the praises of his school district, telling me it had low crime and high salaries and great new teacher training.  Either he was really good at selling the district, or it really is as wonderful as he described it because I admit that I was sold.  A district I had only applied to on a whim transformed into quite a desirable place for my first year of teaching.

Then he dropped the bomb.  I was totally shocked and totally unprepared.  I have a feeling that whenever God blesses us in huge ways it must always feel this way.  It is still overwhelming.

He said that they were prepared to hire me on the spot.

What?  WHAT!?  Right now?  At the job fair?  Right...now??  Nobody in my situation ever gets hired in April!  This is madness.

But he meant it.  Evidently this school district will hire on the spot some math and science teachers who come to their booth because those positions are difficult to fill.  But in my case, the assistant superintendent had read my application and liked me so much that he told his representatives that they could hire me, too.  Even though I'm going to teach English.  Even though they had never actually met me yet.  Even though they have no specific openings yet for me.  Despite all of these things, they were offering me a job.

Can God open a door any wider than that?

It was a school district I had no more than a passing interest in.  It was farther away from my hometown and my parents than I thought I wanted to live.  But it was perfect for me.

I got a chance to go call my parents and discuss it with them, but I had pretty much already made up my mind at that point.  I had been praying that God would show me where I should go--where I could make an impact and be a shining light.  I admit I was a bit scared of where he would choose to send me, but I wasn't scared when the opportunity finally came up.

So all that to say that I'm a teacher.  And I'm about to set up my new life, all alone in a new city.

And here is where the money comes in.  I'm going to be earning a pretty decent salary for a teacher, and beyond that the school is going to pay me a sizable sum to complete my master's degree, which is something I was going to do anyway.  Going from being a college student with a negative income to a working woman with a decent monthly paycheck is a big leap.

Just this weekend my parents and I went to visit two apartment complexes where I could be living next year.  I will have my very own place for the first time.

The danger now is that I become possessive of my income, hoarding it like the man in the parable who thinks that because he has so much, he is set for life and can eat, drink, and be merry.  I am so excited about the prospect of my own place with my own furniture and my own appliances that I know I will tend to place too much importance on money.  I want to buy so many things, and the more I think about the things I want to buy, the more things I think of to buy.

I was listening to a podcast of a local Christian speaker here in College Station who runs an organization called Breakaway Ministries.  The podcast was entitled "Financial Impalement" and it dealt with the tendency of humans to become slaves to money, desiring to make more and more and living above their means, spending every penny to achieve a higher standard of living.

As I listened, something occurred to me: It is common for people to say that nothing belongs to them--that it is all God's, so they really have no claim on it.  I admit that this is a difficult pill for me to swallow, not only because of my selfishness, but also because it seems too illogical to my human brain.  Sure, technically it's all God's.  Technically my body is God's because he made it, but it's not really wrong to claim it as my body, is it?  It certainly doesn't belong to anyone else, does it?

Then I realized that perhaps a better way of putting it is to say that, yes, my money belongs to God, but God has entrusted me with the use of it to fulfill my needs and to give to others to fulfill their needs.  At the same time, though, relative to any other human being, my money does belong to me.  So the money is relatively mine.  It's more my money than it is my roommate's money, but it is less my money than it is God's.

This realization changes my perspective on my money because rather than being something I deserve in some way (which can never be true because God was the one who got me a job in the first place!), it is instead something entrusted to me to do what I will with it.  I can choose to unwisely spend it all on myself and my own comforts, or I can use some for my needs, leaving the rest for God's purposes.

God, you run this ship.  Steer away.

I was tagged by overly_toasted_bread to give five facts about my oh-so-interesting self, and tag five more people to do the same.  Here goes nothin!


1) I have an embarrassing love for Little House on the Prairie.

You know, the TV show that came on in the 70's and they have shown in reruns ever since?  Yeah, I love that show.  I actually own all of the full seasons of it on DVD.  No, I haven't watched them all yet, but that's only because I just got a bunch of them for my birthday a few days ago.  My favorite episodes are when the girls are getting married, or basically any episode with Albert because he was so great.  But he tended to fall in love too often...




2) I am the proudest member of the Fightin' Texas Aggie class of 2010, Whoop!

BUT actually I am graduating this May.  Yeah, I'm a weirdo who's graduating a year early.  But I mean, if you had enough credit coming in to college to graduate early AND you were paying for your college all on your own, wouldn't you graduate early, as well?

Also, I am just sick of being graded.  I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to grades so I stress myself out in order to make A's in every class.  It's stupid, but I can't seem to completely escape the self-imposed pressure, so I'm just excited to get out of school.  Next year I will be an English teacher and then I will be doing the grading!

But graduating early or not, I am really into all of the school traditions we have here.  And if you know anything about A&M, you know we have a lot of them, especially when it comes to football games.  Here is a picture of some of my friends painted up with class pride at one of the games:




3) I have met Chuck Norris.

Oh yes, and I had my picture taken with him.  And actually I have a testimonial to share with you all:

I met him at a Mike Huckabee rally they had here at A&M (Chuck Norris actually lives only 30 miles or so away from Texas A&M), and on that day I was feeling kind of sick, like I was coming down with a bit of a fever.  But I really wanted to see Huckabee (and Chuck Norris) so I went anyway.  After the rally, they let us come meet/take pictures with/get autographs from Chuck Norris and Mike Huckabee and their wives.  I got to shake Chuck Norris's hand before I took a picture with him, and guess what I realized later?  I wasn't feeling sick anymore!

That's right, folks: Chuck Norris healed me.  So you can tell all your friends that all of the legends about him are true!




4) I played French Horn in high school.

I was actually pretty decent (but that's only because all of my french horn friends were amazingly good, so I practiced really hard just to attempt to keep up with them).

I loved marching band more than playing, though, because the community atmosphere was so fun.  Our high school band was the biggest marching band in the nation (we had 600ish people, or thereabouts.  The actual number is hard to pinpoint because it quickly becomes mired in legend: "What!?  You have 2,000 people in your band!?  That's crazy!")

My senior year, we got to march in the Rose Parade, but unfortunately that year was the first time it had rained during the Rose Parade in FIFTY YEARS!!  Apparently we were the lucky winners of the rainy year, and we were literally soaked to the bone in our band uniforms after the parade was over.  I remember walking straight through huge puddles of water because I knew that I couldn't manage to get any more wet than I already was.

What annoyed me more than the rain itself, though, was the fact that the next year the day of the parade was completely gorgeous and the announcers kept saying things like "What a difference a year makes!"  Yes, we know we got screwed; you don't have to go rubbing it in.




5) I am constantly extremely amused.

Besides being incredibly optimistic, I am amused by almost everything.  If you make a joke, I will probably genuinely laugh at it.  And I love watching Disney channel shows and fun movies or cartoons because I get a kick out of all of the clever things they insert into them.  For example, I watched the movie Meet the Robinsons by myself, laughing most of the way through it because I thought it was so clever.  I'm not sure if my sense of humor is off-beat or just excessively active.


These pictures are some of the things that amuse me waay too much.


I'll give you a bonus because I just thought of it:
6) I love the show What Not To Wear and I watch it almost every day.
I really wish I could have 5,000 bucks to redo my wardrobe.  Unfortunately, teachers aren't allowed to wear t-shirts from college organizations to work every day.  I am in the process of buying a grown-up wardrobe, but my limited budget is making things quite difficult.



Don't you feel closer to me now?  Like we're suddenly great friends and you know all my little quirks?

Even if I didn't tag you, you should do this anyway,  It's actually pretty fun.

One more day until the inevitable happens:

I begin writing my November novel.

I don't know how many of you have heard of this, but every November, thousands of people around the world converge on one website for the common purpose of writing 50,000 words of a novel in just 30 days.

It is wonderful.  It is glorious.  It is terrifying.

It is NaNoWriMo.

The basic idea is to get all of us "someday" novelists to actually sit down, at the same time, and write a novel now in one whirlwind month, because otherwise we might put it off forever.  And because we are writing the novel so quickly, all requirements that it should be "quality" work go out the window.  Dare to write for quantity, not for quality!

I participated last year and actually won!  (Winning simply means that you managed to write all 50,000 in November).  Sure, my novel is pretty crappy, but it has promise.

Here is my winner icon from last year.  It makes me quite proud:



I love it because, for me, writing is a form of worship.  Last year, my novel was an allegory similar to my "Fallen" story, but not quite as poetic.  Getting to do a crazy ton of worship in one month is phenomenal.

So you should join me in this amazing adventure, because even if you don't, you'll probably be hearing about it here periodically throughout the month.

Here are a few icons I found on the site that help get me in the spirit of NaNoWriMo:

 

It's been almost a year since I posted this, but I think now is a good time to resurrect it.  It's a good reminder for me, because this is what I want, and I let myself forget it far too often.  So here is my rededication:

I have decided that the words I want to live by, the things I want to be are:

RESILIENT

INTREPID

UNTOUCHABLE

FREE

Because I belong to a God who moves mountains, so why don't I trust Him to move the tiny mole-hills in my life?  And I belong to a God who loves us, and about whom it was said "If God is for us, who can be against us?"  Because I don't want to be walking scared anymore--scared of silly things like strangers' opinions or ending up alone--because only ONE opinion matters and I am NEVER alone!  I want to be pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. And I want to laugh at my problems, and at myself for worrying about them, and when life deals me a blow, I want to bounce back with that same laughter, because doesn't Satan know that he can't touch me?  I am a daughter of the King, and I am always permitted to cry out to the God who is certain--the God who is my Rock.  And I want it to puzzle people that I can dance so freely (and possibly horribly) and I want to baffle people when they wonder how I can seem so strong, when really it is just the Savior's strength in me.  And I want to run, arms outstretched, singing at the top of my lungs, towards Him.  I want to love my God above all else.

Here is a quote from a book I started reading, called A Survey of Bible Doctrine by Charles C. Ryrie.  This definition of love blew me away:

"What is love?  This is one of the most often used and most infrequently defined words in our vocabulary today.  Here is one way of arriving at a proper concept of what love is.  When young people think of love they think first and quite naturally of a pleasant emotional experience.  And this is love, but it is not the whole concept.

"When those same young people grow up, marry, and have children, they soon learn that they have to discipline those children.  The couple that first cuddles a baby and then soon after corrects that baby who, for instance, reaches out to touch a hot stove, is expressing two aspects of love.  So any definition of love must be broad enough to include both the cuddling and correcting aspects of love.  Therefore, we might tentatively propose the definition that love is that which seeks good for the object loved.

"But anyone who rears children knows that there are as many experts on child-rearing as there are grandmothers and aunts.  What is good in the opinion of one is not good in the judgment of another.  For the Christian this problem of what is good is easily solved.  Good is the will of God.  So, putting that in our tentative definition, we may say that love is that which seeks the will of God in the object loved.

"Will such a definition work?  Let's test it.  God is love, meaning that He seeks His own will or glory, and we know that this is true.  God loves the world, meaning that He seeks to have His will followed by the world.  God loves sinners, meaning He wants them to know His will, and it is His desire that they believe on His Son.  We are to love one another, meaning that we are to endeavor to see that the will of God is done in each other.  So the definition seems to work."


Wow!  That makes so much sense, but yet I don't know if I ever would have been able to see it in those terms on my own.  So when we are called to love our neighbor, it is that we are called to desire the will of God for our neighbor.  We should be moved to do God's will for love's sake.

This also explains what it means when we say that we cannot truly love anyone without first being loved by God.  He gives us the capacity to love because apart from Him, what is love?  If we do not know His will, which is good, then how can we possibly seek good for the people we claim to love?